Due Date

Today is Tadpole’s due date! Andrew and I just got back from a celebratory dinner at Sharis. We are super excited that we get to meet our little one soon, and are patiently awaiting the time God has deemed her to come.

Here’s a look at what my baby bump looks like today.

Week 40

And for fun, here’s what I looked like in the same shirt back at the end of January.

Jan 30 - End of Week 27

I realized I had a severe pregnant moment when I made the poll for people to vote on when they think Tadpole will be born. There’s no choice that covers April 24-26! Good thing she didn’t come then. .. The poll has been closed for a few days now, and it looks like the majority of people think she will be born sometime during April 28-30. We’ll see what happens.

Easter Weekend

Andrew and I had a great Easter weekend celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We started off the weekend by going to the Good Friday service at church. I loved the reflection and prayer time before communion. My little girl isn’t out of the womb yet, but I’ve been seeing myself as a mother already. After all, I’m already doing my best to care for my little one, prepare for her arrival, and pray for her future. This gave me a new and unique perspective on Jesus’ death on the cross.

I feel I can understand more of what Mary might have been thinking, and what a sacrifice God gave of His only begotten son in a whole new way. I was imagining if I had to give up my little girl for the sake of others how might I feel or how might I react. My first response is “No! You can’t take her! I love her too dearly and there must surely be another way.” But for Jesus there wasn’t another way. Sure He could have stopped it all. He could have used His Godly power to stop the nails from being hammered through Him and into the cross. Heck, He could have made it so He wasn’t betrayed by Judas and arrested for His good and Godly deeds in the first place.

But He didn’t. Jesus knew what God’s ultimate plan was. And He knew that His death was the only thing that could pay for the sins of every single person who has or ever will live. He knew that His pain, suffering, and death on the cross was worth giving us each an individual chance of accepting God’s grace, love, and forgiveness from our sins, and asking Him to be the personal Lord and Savior in each of our lives.

If my little girl had to die for others, for God’s plan, how would I react? How would I feel? I am sure there would be sadness, but I hope I would be filled with peace and joy for her part in God’s plan to reach out to the world to let every person know of His deep love for them and the saving grace He offers. When my dad passed away nearly seven years ago now, that’s how I felt about his death. I was deeply saddened at the loss. My dad couldn’t be at my college graduation, my wedding, and he won’t get to meet dear sweet little Tadpole. But I know my dad touched a lot of people’s lives, and helped people draw closer to God. And I know for a fact that his journey battling cancer, and his death also drew individuals closer to God. For that I am super excited and thrilled that my father could be used in such a way: to help someone reaffirm their faith in God, to help someone else come to Christ, to help someone else turn back to Christ, to help others become curious about who Jesus is and why He did what He did.

I cannot predict exactly how I would react if I was ask or told that Tadpole had to lose her life in order for God’s kingdom to be expanded on earth. But now that I have a child of my own I can understand Mary’s faith in God more. And I can understand God’s love for us more. I am much more thankful and appreciated of it as I realize yet again that none of us deserve what God gives us. That was my new and unique view on Jesus’ sacrifice this Easter.

The rest of the Good Friday service was also wonderful, and I really enjoyed having a private communion with Andrew and one of our pastors.

Saturday we slept in and then cleaned our home and packed more boxes as we waited for lunch time to come around. For lunch we met up with Andrew’s best friend, Mike (he was the best man at our wedding), and finally got to meet his girlfriend, Heather. We had a joyous time soaking up the sun as we ate Panera for a picnic at Carkeek Park. It was fun to relax and chat and talk about our lives and what’s been going on in them, along with meeting and getting to know Heather. 

We went to bed early on Saturday because I did not want to miss Easter breakfast at church or Easter service and I’ve been needing extra sleep recently. I was determined to make it unless Tadpole showed up. We had a most yummy breakfast with church family Sunday morning. I was encouraged by how many people showed they’re anxiously awaiting Tadpole’s arrival with us and praying for us by saying things like “you’re still pregnant,” “so glad you could make it today,” “aww, no baby yet?” “we hope she comes soon! We want to meet her!” It was so encouraging to hear all these comments. ^_^

I had a lot of people comment on how joyful and energized I seemed for being so pregnant too. My response to this is that I have peace about when Tadpole will arrive. I know that she will come when God has deemed her to come, and that it will be the perfect timing for her, Andrew and me. I’m praying that my attitude will remain the same as we wait for her to come, even if she doesn’t come until two weeks from today.

It was great to celebrate Jesus’ resurrection with our church family. I loved the analogy Pastor Craig used for the kids to describe what Jesus has done for us. When he had the kids up on stage with him, he talked about Disneyland. He talked about how the train ride from the parking lot to the park is super cool and fun, and a pretty good place to be, and that it could be compared to life on earth. Our life on earth can seem pretty awesome and we can be content with it, but there is more out there. Talking about entering the park he asked if the kids ever paid for their own ticket or if someone else always paid for it (for those who had gone before). The kids all said someone else paid the price of the ticket to enter Disneyland. Craig then said that’s like how Jesus paid the price (His death on the cross) to make it possible for each of us to enter the gates of heaven. Then he talked about how great Disneyland is, but that heaven is even better than Disneyland! He explained to them that the Bible says that Heaven is better and more than anything we could ever possibly imagine. I loved the analogy! All the kids were able to follow it completely even if they hadn’t been to Disneyland before because they all know so much about it.

After church we had a nice yummy lunch with our friends Jeff and Sherry. We chatted about things we do on Easter, waiting for Tadpole, summer plans, and just enjoyed each others company.

Then Andrew and I went back home, grabbed our Wii games and a few controllers and headed to my sister’s house. My sister, brother-in-law, two nieces and Grandma were there, and we shared a wonderful Easter feast together! We had (in my family’s opinion) the two mandatory food items: Ham as the main course, and green Jell-O with fruit mixed in and topped with mini marshmallows for a side. Plus we had other delicious food. Then we enjoyed family time together just talking and chilling, and then playing Wii games.

After that Heidi, Rick and I had fun hiding Easter eggs throughout the house while Andrew, Sara and Katie took the dogs for a walk. When they came back the lights were out and we gave them each a basket and flashlight to look for the eggs. It was so much fun watching the three of them egg hunt, and the three of them were enjoying the hunt too. 

Waiting for us to let them into the house.

That’s how we spent our Easter weekend. What did you do?                                         

Doctor Appointment Week 40

As I mentioned two weeks ago, Doc. S is out of the office this week, so today I saw Doc M. She’s the doctor Doc. S shares his office with, and who sees his patients when he’s gone on vacation or cannot be in the office for other reasons. She was nice, but it was odd seeing another doctor who does things slightly differently, especially since I didn’t know what to expect since I hadn’t met her before.

Doc. M measured my uterus at 40cm. That’s a bit of a jump from last week (about 38cm). Though, it did feel like she measured me at a slightly different place than Doc. S. I have still been gaining weight though, so that could explain where the weight is going since it’s not really going anywhere else (well, I do need to buy some new bras again…). At this point in pregnancy most pregnant women either stop gaining weight, or their weight increase slows. Mine seems to have stayed the same.

Though it does seem like my body is retaining water more and that is also a contributing factor. Last week was the first time I had to elevate my feet to help with a bit of swelling that was happening. I’ve been lucky with this since most women start swelling a lot sooner than that. Though sadly I’ve had to take of my wedding ring and put on the ring I wore when Andrew had to take my engagement ring away so the diamond could be put into my wedding ring. My ring wasn’t too tight, but tight enough that I didn’t want it to get stuck on my finger. The ring I am currently wearing is only a half size bigger, but so far that’s been enough.

Anyway! Tadpole is doing awesome! She has her little head locked and engaged in my pelvic cavity, awaiting my cervix to dilate and efface all the way. No wonder why I’ve been getting head-butted by her so much! Doc. M said Tadpole’s heart rate was strong and normal for this time in pregnancy. Her heart was recorded at about 138bpm. I was slightly concerned with this number since she’s usually measured in the mid-140s, but Doc. M reminded me that as Tadpole develops more, her heart doesn’t need to be working as fast, and thus slows down a bit.

But I am sure you are all wondering who much I am effaced and dilated. Well, since Doc M isn’t my normal OBGYN, she couldn’t give me a percent for how much I have effaced since she has no baseline to compare it too. But like the last two weeks, I am effaced (you can’t really reverse efface anyway). As for how much my cervix has dilated… we are now at 1cm! That’s 1/10 of the way there.  

I have an appointment with Doc S. next week on Monday, which will include a non-stress test. Basically I’ll be hooked up to a machine that will continuously measure Tadpole’s heart rate for 20-30 minutes. They’ll be measuring to see fluctuations in Tadpole’s heart rate due to her moving, or me having a contraction, etc., and then making an assessment to decide if she is under stress and needs to come out now, or if she can stay in the womb safely for a bit longer. The test is followed by a regular check up appointment with Doc S. Then next Tuesday an ultrasound is scheduled to look and see how Tadpole is doing to determine if she is thriving in the womb or needs to come out. Of course both appointments would be canceled if she decides to come before then.

Andrew and I have tried to initiate a new habit when we call people. We try and make sure that we start the conversation with “Hi. No baby.” And then continue on with what we called to say. We have found this has drastically cut down on the number of people who start jumping with over excitement with our phone calls thinking that we have called to share the great joy of Tadpole’s arrival. Though we are super excited for how excited all these people have been, and that like us, they are anxiously awaiting the arrival of dear Miss little Tadpole.

Tadpole’s due date is tomorrow!

Doctor Appointment Week 39

Today marks the start of week 39! It is now exactly one week from Tadpole’s due date. Will she come early, on-time or late? I’m still wondering that myself. Right now it seems she does not want to come early. But things in late pregnancy can change pretty fast sometimes, so who knows!

Why I say right now it looks like she does not want to come early is because of my doctor appointment today. Not much has changed since last week. My uterus is still measuring at about 38cm, and I’m still only about 25% effaced, and I still have not dilated as of 10:15 this morning. Tadpole was sure moving around when Doc. S was getting her heart rate, which was 148bpm. She’s a healthy little girl, just not ready to come out yet.

Though she likes to test and see if she can come out (or maybe she’s just thinking about it). Every once and a while she likes to basically headbutt me as if she’s testing to see if my cervix has dilated at all. We could say she’s curious about the outside world, but doesn’t want to face it yet. That doesn’t mean my body hasn’t been getting ready for her big entrance.

My Braxton Hicks contractions (practice contractions) have increased slightly. Previously to last week I was having about 1-3 a day. Now I’m having at least five a day, and an average of about 5-7 a day. There were a couple days this last week where I had more than that. In fact, I had a whole night where I was having contractions off and on, most of which were barely noticeable, but a few were slightly intense.

Last week on Wednesday night Andrew and I were lying in bed having our bedtime Bible time like always. Andrew is the narrator and Tadpole and I listen to him read (Hoshi joins us 90% of the time too). He starts off by reading a Bible story or prayer to Tadpole from one of her Bible books, then reads our devotional book, and finishes by reading a chapter or two from the Bible. Right before he started reading Tadpole’s book I started having some mild contractions that were lasting about a minute in length (a lot longer than my usual Braxton Hicks contractions). I was doing fine though, and Andrew’s reading was helping me to stay relaxed and not tense up my muscles.

Then I had a very unusual feeling accompany the contractions, a feeling that most women have experience: It totally felt like my period was starting. Sure a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions feel like the cramp feeling a woman gets when she’s on her period, but this felt like it was actually starting. My eyes shot open, Andrew was still reading, and I was like “umm, I’ll be right back.” He probably though I just had to pee again since it seems like I have to do that all the time now thanks to our little gymnast who loves to bounce on her mommy’s bladder. But that wasn’t the case. I officially lost my mucus plug a week ago.

What’s a mucus plug you ask? Well, it’s a “plug” (no it’s not cork shaped or plugged shaped – it is glob shaped) that is made up a mucus that is kind of a white/creamy color (it actually can be clear or slightly pinkish from a bit of blood) and has more of a stringy like texture than other discharge, and it blocks the opening of a woman’s cervix during pregnancy. It helps to prevent any bacteria from entering the uterus. Near the end of pregnancy it dislodges and comes out so the cervix can open and your baby can come out. It can happen anywhere from a few hours before the onset of labor, to a couple weeks.

Contractions continued throughout the night, and every time I woke up from a contraction or having to pee I kept thinking “is this it? Is this the start of labor? Or is this just an onset of practice contractions?” It’s so nerve racking not knowing! I was guessing it wasn’t anything though because the contractions didn’t seem to be growing in intensity or consistency. They stopped by the time morning came and Tadpole obviously still isn’t here.

Another thing my body has been doing is my stomach has decided to be upset when I’m hungry and after I eat, and sometimes in between too. It’s been going on since Saturday night. It’s really annoying… Not all pregnant women experience this, but a lot do. It’s due to your stomach getting smashed by your sweet innocent babe and/or changes in your hormones. Tadpole seems to think she can help easy my stomach pains by massaging my innards when my stomach is upset… Sadly it doesn’t actually help at all. But I appreciate her desire to let me know she’s there, work on her muscle tone, and try to make me feel better.

When are you coming Tadpole? People are wondering and awaiting your arrival! Many have voted on when they think you will come in the poll that is located on the right near the top of this blog. When will we see your beautiful, adorable, cute little face? When will I get to hold you in my arms and cuddle you like crazy? I can’t wait! ^_^

Week 39

Week 38 and Pack n' Play

As promised, here are the pictures we took yesterday for week 38. 

Week 38

Check out the baby bump!

Instead of walking around my feet, Hoshi sat with Andrew and watched me having my picture taken

And a couple days ago Andrew set up the Pack n’ Play. It’s what we’ll be using for Tadpole to sleep in before we move.  Or at least that’s the plan right now. It’s a Pack n’ Play with a bassinet and a changing table. 

Just finished putting it together

Ta-da!

Doctor Appointment Week 38

Today marks the beginning of week 38! We’re only two weeks away from Tadpole’s due date! But who knows how many days from her actual arrival. Don’t forget to vote in the poll on when you think Tadpole might be born. The poll is located on the right of the blog near the top.

Yesterday started off as a very emotional day for me. I don’t know why, and that can happen a lot during pregnancy – emotional reactions to things, or to nothing, that you cannot explain. Basically I was an emotional wreck in the morning and when Andrew asked me how he could help all I could really come up with was a shrug. This grew into me not wanting to be away from him, though I kept telling my pregnant mind that he had to go to work. And I really wanted him to come to my doctor appointment, which I hadn’t really wanted until that morning. Well, I figured I’d want him at appointments for sure starting next week, but not this week.

Anyway! Andrew was a most loving husband and made a call into work that he would be taking the day off because he needed to be home to support his wife. I told him he didn’t need to do this, but then at the same time I was telling him that I wanted him to be near and go to my appointment. I’m telling you, sometimes a pregnant woman just doesn’t know what she wants or needs, and sometimes you just cannot control how you feel or how you emotionally react to something even when you really try.

My spirits slowly lifted as the day went on and Andrew was home with me. We had breakfast together and decided to get donuts at this really yummy place only a few blocks away, and we swung by McDonalds for hash browns for me and a coffee drink for Andrew. Sadly their espresso machine was broken, so Andrew picked something else off the menu. But we took the morning easy as my emotions slowly changed back to a more “normal” state. Then off to my doctor appointment!

Tadpole is still doing fantastic and still is a head-down position. Yay! Her heart rate was measured at 146 bpm. My uterus didn’t change much and was still basically 38cm, which is what I measured at last week. That’s normal for the last bit of pregnancy though – the uterus growth slows. During this point in pregnancy the mother’s weight stays the same or increases slowly compared to earlier on in pregnancy. Of course this is all averages. Oh and I believe I forgot to mention last week that my test results for Group Strep B came back negative! That’s a very good thing.

We talked about the amount of contractions I’ve been having, which is still only 1-2 a day and not that intense. Except for two I had on Saturday that were the most intense I’ve had thus far. Andrew also asked a few question about when Doc S would actually head over to the hospital, and how often Doc S will check on me, and other related things. Doc S said that he can keep tabs on me from his office (about 15 minutes away from the hospital) either via phone or the hospital’s internet server for doctors and nurses that keeps information on how Tadpole is doing, how much I’m dilated and how I’m doing. But he said he’ll be at the hospital probably a couple hours before Tadpole is actually born, and come and check on me at least every hour unless there was a dramatic change in something.

This week I had my cervix checked. And before I go into that all, here’s a bit of education for those who aren’t familiar with the terms cervix, cervical dilation (dilate) and cervical effacement (effacement).

Cervix: The lower part of a woman’s uterus that leads into the vagina (sometimes referred to as the neck of the uterus because cervix means neck in Latin).

Dilate: The opening of a woman’s cervix, which occurs in the last part of pregnancy due to contractions and the pressure of the baby pushing down on the cervix. Dilation is measured in centimeters. During pre labor or the very beginning of labor, a woman’s cervix is measured at 0-3cm. During active labor (contractions coming at a regular rate and with more intensity) it is measured at 4-7cm. During the transition phase of labor (when a woman prepares to push or has just begun to) the cervix is measured at 8-10cm. And the delivery of the baby occurs when the cervix is 10cm.

Effacement: The softening, shortening and thinning of the cervix, which is measured in percentage. You start off at 0% and labor begins typically when you are 100% effaced. Prior to effacement a woman’s cervix feels more like the cartilage in the tip of your nose, and gradually changes to feel more like the softness of your cheek and paper thin.

When Doc S checked me I had not dilated at all, but I have begun to efface – about 25% or so. He’ll check again next week to see if there are any changes. So looks like Tadpole wants to stay in a bit longer and (at least right now) doesn’t want to come early. Of course all things can change with a drop of a hat.

I am no longer thinking it would be awesome if Tadpole was born on Good Friday (22^nd) or on Easter (24^th), but think it would be awesome if she were a May Day (May 1^st) baby. Why you ask? Because we just found out that Doc S will be on vacation April 22-29^th… I was a bit bummed and peeved to find this out since before we decided to go with Doc S we asked him what his calendar looked like for April and the beginning of May, you know, to make sure HE would actually be the one delivering my baby, and not a doctor I do not know who is on-call.

I know things can change, and typically a woman’s first baby comes late, but there is now a chance I will have a stranger deliver my baby. I personally am not that comfortable with the idea of someone I do not know being *down there* and delivering my baby. Besides being *down there* I wonder if the on-call doctor has the same views as Doc S on matters we have discussed, what his bedside manner is like, and all sorts of other things. I know not long ago women who had babies in hospitals usually didn’t get to pick the doctor who would deliver their child, but picking the doctor who would deliver my child is important to me. It might be an irrational though, but it’s how I feel.

Okay, I’m done ranting… I’ve been praying for peace on the matter and reminding myself that God has a plan and purpose. Tadpole will come when she comes, and it will be on the best day for her and for us, and with the people present who need to be there. For those of you who read my blog and pray, if you could join me in praying for peace on the matter, it would be much appreciated.

Thank you so much, my dear Andrew, for being such a support for me yesterday! I love you! And thank you, God, for putting Andrew in my life. ^_^

Week 38’s picture will be coming either late tonight or tomorrow at some point.